Anger

 As I was being told by a love one that they were able to have limited visits in the hospital with their spouse, I couldn't help but to feel anger rise within me.  Although I was happy she was able to do that, I couldn't help but to feel that this wasn't fair.  Why she got to see her love one in the hospital but I couldn't.  Why she got to hold her spouse hand and I didn't.  This is something that will be with me forever while others will never know this type of pain.

Anger, we all feel it in our everyday lives.  Yet for a widow it can be heighten to a whole other level.  The anger of I thought we had more time.  If the spouse transitioned when Covid-19 just began, the anger of not being able to see them or say goodbye.  The anger of feeling left alone.  The anger that flares up when you want to question why?

Abba Father understood this emotion as well.  We are all familiar with the anger our God displayed when they were turning His house of prayer into a den of thieves.  We all can understand His frustration when he found the disciples sleep instead of praying with Him.  This lets me know that Abba Father can relate to the anger we are feeling and how he wants us to cast even the anger upon Him.

So I encourage widows to give that anger over to Abba Father.  Be honest.  Let Him know all that you are feeling. Even feeling like this is not fair.  Oh but how I love His love!  You will find when you are honest with Him and decide to give it to Him, He will exchange your anger for peace.  Peace that surpass your understanding that will keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus.  A peace that you will find you can't even explain or describe as it's so overwhelming.  Dwell in His peace in exchange for your anger.