Vulnerability

 

So it’s evaluation time on my job, but I just didn’t have the energy to be that into it.  The next thing I know I see on my performance report that my score was lower than last year due to lack of communication.  Never mind that I not only lost my husband three months ago, but there have been a total of five deaths in his family.  Forgive me if I am being more silent these days.  Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling of being vulnerable.

Perfect example, the holidays are fast approaching us.  Yes some view it as the most wonderful time of the year, but for others it can feel like the worse time of the year.  I am already finding myself back to crying at night again, longing for my husband.  I can’t help but feel like the fact that I am physically alone makes me vulnerable.

Vulnerability; It can cause a widow to go rush into a relationship to fill a void of being alone.  It can cause a widow to be taken advantage of as they may not be thinking straight all the time. It can cause some to turn to habits that can lead to addictions.  We often think of this word when we are putting our shields down to be honest with our feelings to someone.   Yet it’s a whole other world this word vulnerability can be for a widow. 

 So for those that still have their love ones and get to enjoy the holiday season with them, remember to say a quick pray for your brother or sister that has found themselves trapped in this cave called widow and maybe feeling a bit vulnerable at this time. May God love shield us widows during this time of the year.