Letting Go

As I said Happy New Year with my family, suddenly tears poured out my eyes as I realized no new year kiss with my husband. I was thankful for my sister pulling me through that and even making me laugh. Yet the pain of it reached deep down in my heart that I tried so hard to disguise. So it was fitting that all the signs were around me yesterday in terms of having to let go. The church message was having what you don’t want, but use it to draw closer to God. An online message portion was mentioning how Joshua and the people of God having to go on from their grief with the death of Moses to move forward to the promise land. Lastly, a movie I decided to watch was giving the same message. Then it hit me, I am yet in this realm, I have to move on.

“It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.”

It’s not that God wants me to just put away twenty-five years in a box that I shared with my husband. Instead He knows that holding on so hard to him is hurting me even the more. He can’t provide the thoughts and plans He has for me in the present if I’m holding on so tightly to the past. If I draw nigh to Him, He can show how His love is even the more for me.

  Selah

Job 17:9

The righteous shall move onward and forward. Those with a pure heart shall become stronger and stronger.

Matthew 6:27

Can all your worries add a single hour to your life?

Facts are maybe I am holding on so hard to my past with my husband because I am afraid of what life is going to be like now without him. He was my covering, the one that was for me. Now the two become one flesh has turned back to just one and the thought after twenty-five years is scary. Yet God doesn’t work in fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. So am I going to believe that He got this in regards to my future or do I chose to dwell in the past as it feels comfortable to be in. As the new year has now become a reality, we have to let go of our spouses’ hands and move on. It is easy, no. It is hard yes. Does it hurt, of course it does. Nevertheless, that’s where Abba our Father steps in. I am put to remembrance in John 20: 27 when Jesus told Thomas to don’t be faithless any longer. Believe! Just as Thomas, who we never stop to think that maybe his actions of doubt was because of the pain he just went through with Jesus death; we too have to put down our faithless attitudes towards our new life and trust it’s in Abba’s hands. As I let go of my husband’s hands, I cling to Abba’s hands. Of course I will always honor my husband and never forget. However, the letting go is not for him, but for me. Here’s to the future of what God has in store.

 Be encouraged my fellow widows. God got us!